The Terrible Crack Fic (eh you really don't wanna read this, trust me)
by ThaliaGrace19
Summary: What happens when 1993nicole leaves tumblr to visit ? This horrible piece of fic, that's what. Hella. Yolo. Please don't read this. Or do. Butit'd be "a horrible decision really".


**A/N: This is a crack fic. It's meant to be a little...out there. Tumblrers have been gotten permission from to do this. If there's a misunderstanding or anything needs to be changed about the participants' representations, a simple private message will suffice: I am a reasonable human being, not a robot and I'm sure we can work it out without hate. ^ ^ I'm going to try to keep people's orientations, physical descriptions, etc. accurate (when I have that information; if not, I go off of personality, guesses, or just plain being imaginative/weird). IF I MISGENDER YOU PLEASE CORRECT ME, MY APOLOGIES! Tumblr's fuzzy with me that way. But all these things said, just remember, this is a crazy crack fanfic, not...idk...anything that important. XD So just have fun with it, k everybody? :D And if you want to be added, I have a post on my tumblr (I'm 1993nicole) or you could ask me in the reviews or message me here or on tumblr. Also, I'm going to be starting with a few characters and kind of working in more as I go. And yes, I'm a character in my own fic. ;) Rated M so that I can do anything I want to. So without further ado...let the madness begin! I don't...even... ke sara sara. *finishes chapter and just posts it* XD**

Chapter One: Forkanna Fest Part 1

It was a bright, sunny April day and the tiny office square was positively swarming with forkannarchists. Most of them were girls though there were several dudes present as well. But mostly, flannel prevailed.

"Dude, this is _epic_!" Nicki blurted out, staring in wonder at all of the madness around her. "So many people coming out to catch a glimpse of the glorious, the illustrious-"

"FORKIE!" several moony voices cried out in unison, gazing with more than appreciation at all the fork-related murchandise skattered on the desk, their eyes catching on the rainbow-colored, full-length poster portraying Anna in her winter gear, clutching a fork to her breast. A chorus of longing-filled sighs escaped the lips of many of the hopeful lesbians. The dudes...well, they knew what they'd gotten themselves into by coming. Forkanna WAS the author or the cakefic, after all. Which WAS about incestful lesbians. It only tracked that a bunch of incestful lesbians would show up. Well, lesbians, anyway. Speaking of dudes, Nicki thought she'd caught sight of a familiar one.

"Fildi!" she exploded, crossing the room to start a flying-tackle-tickle-fight with the younger Australian. Girl threw her down in three seconds flat. Thing was, she'd misplaced where Fildi would be, not calculating for him walking, and she'd tackled a butch. An irritated, eyes-only-for-forkanna butch. Nicki stood up, rubbing her sore- well, everything- and tackled the real Fildi.

Across the room, a little munchkin held a pen and paper, and was scribbling furiously. "Nicki-and-Fildi." She smirked. Anyone who interacted with anyone else was getting written DOWN, man! Error giggled a Smeagol-like giggle (whatever that means) and looked for her next victim- er, writing topic. What better event to ship people than at Forkanna Fest?

Meanwhile, there was a murmering at the front of the room. All eyes fixated on the only door to the office, watching the neon sign that announced their queen's arrival (some of the more tech-savvy forkannarchists had cabeled it to the elevators with an aproximate arrival time, etc.). The chant began. "Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven, Six, Five Four THREETWOONE!" the excited forklovers blurted. The door swiveled open a moment later and a polished looking young woman stepped inside, seeming startled at the crowd. The woman wore an almost pained expression on her face, which almost perfectly matched those of the dissapointed crowd.

"Wait...she's not forkanna!" objected the one soul late to the party.

"Duhhhh."

"I'm...why..."

"Requ! Glad you joined!" the ever-diplomatic error steered her over to a wall chart with the word 'shipping' on the top...although it was for like, literal shipping, like sending boxes places...since that's what the company did... "Forkanna is supposed to be here any minute now! Why don't you wait with us till she gets here?"

"But...this is my office?" Requ frowned at the seething turmoil, looking around distractedly as if something would suddenly make sense. It didn't. "Why is forkanna..." Then she caught sight of the giant "FUCKING FORKANNA FEST!" banner in horriblely penned pink paint hanging over the door. And it made the other statement void because then, stuff DID make sense after all. And stuff. "Wait...'forkanna fest'? But that was supposed to be int he building across the street."

"Yeah, but they wanted us to pay!" Fildi piped in from across the way. "So we moved it here."

"Oh." Requ fidgeted; she was tempted to enjoy the party, but there was one important question on her mind. It was innocent enough to herself, but given the present company...she would need to word this carefully. "Well are there...refreshments?"

Error nodded. "Yeah, soda and stuff. Gotta keep caffeined up, ya know?"

"Um..." Requ bit her lip nervously. "Yeah but what about um, food?"

"Yeah." Error nodded.

"But um...oh fuck it, fine! IS. THERE. CAKE?"

Error gasped, then grinned. "Well, duh! What would forkanna fest be without cake?"

Everyone in the room (well, except for miss late-to-the-party) brandished a fork, grinning from ear to ear with thinly-veiled fork innuendos written across their faces as though smeared there with extra chocolate frosting.

"Oh. Alright, then." Requ went to get herself a slice.

A buzzer went off and everyone once again stared at the door and waited. After the obligitory countdown the door opened. But it wasn't a person. It was...was...

"A FORK?"

"Ha! SURPRISE!" The fork rattled and then was pulled over someone's head and that someone was-

"FORKANNA!"

Forkanna smirked. "Yeah, I got you. And you. And you and you and you-" She pointed at several other forkers, who proceeded to faint, stop breathing, and have a heart attack.

"FORKANNA POINTED AT ME, AHHH!" One swooned, before falling face-first into the punch bowl.

"Wait'll you see what else she can do with that finger." whispered one forker lewdly. Three more girls keeled over.

"IS IT TIME FOR THE ORGY?" a voice cried out. All eyes turned to glare at the girl now trying to hide in the corner.

"Nicki..._seriously_?" someone groaned. The weirdo pretended to study her fingernails.

"Ooohkay then." Forkie grinned. "Now onto the REAL fun. Let them eat cake!" Everyone watched as Forkie charged the food table and stabbed the cake multiple times with her fork before lifting a ginormous piece to her lips. "Mmmhh." she murmured, cake crumbs trickling down her chin. "So gooood." Her moans of pleasure were met with those of several forkannarchists who wished that...well, that they were that piece of cake being eaten. I mean wait, what?

Meanwhile Nicole was losing her shit in the corner. Literally. "OH GAWWSH EVERYOPNE OEIifhf ITS FORKIE!" she squealed. Bad22wolf, a pretty girl a few years younger rolled her eyes. "Hey, forkie isn't the only adorable person around here!" she pouted, before giving everyone her trademark adorable smile. Half the room swooned. The other half fell face-first into the cake with forkie.

Meanwhile deecy23 was watching all of this from the corner of the room with a pained expression on her face. "Nicole was right." she murmured. "She DOES need my help. Heck, she needs all the help she can get..."

**A/N I do, don't I? O.O XDDD YOLO!**


End file.
